Thursday, February 12, 2015

this is our town

I warned you, didn't I? This is unnecessarily cheesy. I'm incredibly sentimental and nostalgic these days though, so just roll with me here. I've got one more week here and I'm not missing a single opportunity to be sappy.

I've lived in this town for over seven years now (SEVEN!).  Almost a quarter of my life. Mine and David's entire story takes place in Rexburg, and even though it is remote and snowy and slushy and has so many obnoxious BYUI students, it is a very special place.
pic jacked from Ashley's Instagram

We ran our little clothing store here.  I love this part of our story and I always want to talk about it but I worry it seems braggy.  We bought the store when we had been married for just 2 months and we had it for almost 5 years (2008-2012).  The customers were often rude and the hours were long and there was such an unbelievable learning curve, but I'm so proud we stuck it out and eventually sold it instead of going under like so many other businesses in Rexburg do.  We learned a lot about working hard and working together and decision making in that store.  I worked until just 3 days before I had Joonerbugs, so truly our entire pre-human baby life was store baby life.

Clark!  This is the only place our son has known.  We were married for almost 4 years before we had him, and now he's almost 3, and all of that happened here in town.  He was born at Madison Memorial, just a couple blocks away from our apartment on Main Street, the tiny one bedroom we brought him home to.  I don't think he'll have any memories of living here, and that makes me a little sad, because we've had so much fun.

BYU-Idaho.  It's a weird little school with a weird little student body, and I know a lot of people roll their eyes at it, but I really did love my time there.  I started my first semester feeling very, very lost and I graduated wholly in love with writing.  BYUI gave me that beautiful gift and I will always refuse to hate on it because of that.  I'm a little sad I won't be sticking around long enough to try and land a job in the English department.

All the food I love here.  This is so silly.  Are you ready?  The Cocoa Bean, the adorable little cupcake shop that I go to probably too often.  Snakebite, the best freaking burger of your whole freaking life on the river in Idaho Falls.  Cupbop, the Korean BBQ inside the grocery store that is dreamy good.  Soda Vine, where they make my dirty Dr. Peppers and never poke fun at me being in their drive through multiple times every week.  Our beloved, beloved taco bus.

Mostly I'll miss all the little routines.  Driving 90 minutes up the road to West Yellowstone to eat Beartooth Barbecue and go to a Playmill show every summer, where I always knew at least 1 or 2 people in the cast. Taking visiting family to Mesa Falls and stopping along the way to throw bread to the massive trout (also the place where I ran my half marathon!).  Riding my bike all over town in the summertime.  Bundling Joony up as much as I could to go for a 15 minute walk to the ice cream shop down the road. My best friend living across the street from me and having Pie & Broad Shpitty nights every week.  My yearly ice slip where I fall flat on my back (I might not actually miss that one very much).

I can't even tell you how many incredible friends I've made here, and with the exception of a few, every single one has left this little town for new lives and big adventures.  I always hug them tight, and I tear up and try not to break into sobs in front of them, and I tell them they'll visit and I'll visit, and then I always call my mom afterwards while I wail-sob into the phone about how unfair it is.  How very, very tired of good-bye I am.  How exhausting it is to keep trying to form new friendships.

I've imagined over and over what it would be like when it was my turn to get in a car and drive away, imagined where I might be headed, what it might feel like to leave for the last time.  I thought I would feel so much relief and happiness, but you know what?  Right now I just feel sad and prematurely homesick for this place that was always supposed to be temporary but became home somewhere along the way.  It feels unfair that my family is in California, and David's is in Georgia, and we've made this home in Idaho, and now we're going to Arizona, so no matter where I go I'm always missing someone, and usually a couple someones.  I have been desperately lonely and sad and cold, but I have also lived glory days here.  It will always sort of feel like home. I always wanted to be Arizona-bound when I left here and I am so grateful that we are...but I love Rexburg and I am heartbroken to be closing this chapter.

4 comments:

  1. what a perfect expression of the heartache and excitement of leaving a place. I felt the same way once, and you brought me right back to that place. you have a way with words girl!

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  2. I wasn't there as many years but Rexburg is a home to me in a way that no other place can ever match. It DOES feel good to leave (but I think for me it mostly felt good to leave being a student, I was ready to be done. And I left in December so saying good bye to that place in the winter wasn't super hard.) But my memories are some of the best thoughts in my mind.

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  3. Closing chapters is always a little hard because there's usually so much GOOD that happens in them.
    And I get what you mean about refusing to hate BYUI. I snark about it all the time but it's like I can talk bad about my BYUI, but you can't. I still think they have the greatest social work program on the planet.
    I love you and it will be weird if I ever drive through there again and know that you're not there. I think you were my last tie to it. Now I'M getting sad!

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  4. You have perfectly described how I felt leaving Rexburg! We moved to San Tan Valley, AZ almost a year ago and we LOVE it here! I hope you guys enjoy AZ as much as we have...If you ever want to hang out with old friends let us know. :)

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I think you're smart, pretty, & entitled to your own opinion.

I'd love it if the feeling was mutual!