I mean, look at this guy. What a little gentleman.
P.S. I won this dress in a Shabby Apple Instagram giveaway, and it makes me feel like $1 million.
Joony gets his bow ties from my friend Alex's shop The Splendid Bow and he always gets compliments on them (not sponsored, just a friend's awesome Etsy shop!).
I had a long day with Clark today. He was bossy and grumpy and I felt impatient and frustrated that I couldn't keep him happy. We were just out of sync, and I know we felt tired of one another's company. I let him take one or two toys to bed every night--usually Hot Wheels, something that doesn't make noise--and tonight he had a plastic school bus (a "cool-buh"). When I set him in his bed, he immediately chucked it at my face. I told him good night, and he asked so politely: "Mom...cool buh, please?" I thought, okay, whatever, and handed it back to him...and he immediately threw it back in my face. It had been such a long day and I felt so tired and defeated, I just snapped "Fine. I'm done with you. Go to bed." No singing, no back rubbing, no "Do you know your mom loves you?" like we usually do, I just walked out of his room. The minute I came downstairs I sat on the couch, felt a wave of guilt, and started sobbing. How evil am I? He's two. Of course he isn't logical, I'm supposed to be the logical one here...and I'm storming out of his room and crying.
Dave gently suggested I go on a drive, so I stopped at McDonalds for a Dr. Pepper and a cookie (because isn't that how all adults handle bad days?) before driving a wide loop through the farms surrounding our town and talking to my dad on the phone. I felt like this driving cliche, a frizzy-haired braless mom pounding a Dr. Pepper and sniffling and being all I just need to get out of the house right-freaking-now. I hated the feeling.
I just feel exhausted by this stage in Clark's life. He is so cute and so fun (today he called blueberries "boobies" and I'm still laughing about it), but this personality that's emerging is independent and opinionated, too, and some days it's so hard for us to coexist. I don't feel like there's a lot of advice for how to handle discipline in this specific age range--he's not quite old enough for "You lose this privilege now!" and obviously he's not a baby anymore. I never know how to respond when people ask how Joony is doing. "He's good. He's hard, like really hard, and we fight a lot. But he's so cute, and here's a funny thing he said the other day, and he's also so frustrating, you know? I love him so much it makes me want to cry right now just talking about it." How do I hold onto these amazing, sweet days where we get to spend all our time together without also exploding because we're spending all our time together?
Well, I wrote a similar post back in August, so I guess this is regularly scheduled programming around here. In the comments, Kate linked to this article, which is really sweet and encouraging. My favorite line: "Having rules and expectations doesn't squelch kids. Not liking them does. And if I hate being around them because they are totally untrained and insufferable then I might be tempted to just let them play video games all day and avoid their company. That's why I discipline my kids the way I do, so that we love being around each other. Hopefully other people like being around them too." I'm making a renewed effort to work on this in my house.
Including these outtakes from our family Christmas pictures because my hair is a windy mess and it was freezing cold, but Clark was still being such a cheeseball. I loved it.