Sunday, October 19, 2014

you girls keep me young, oh i love you so much

hat: local boutique; jeans: LC; madewell archive boot; everydangthing else: target

A Love Letter to My First Two Weeks as a Grad Student:

My first weeks in school were incredible.  It was inspiring and intimidating and heart-clutching.  Both of my professors took it easy the first week--introduce yourself on the discussion board, do a short reading, respond on the message boards, interact with your fellow students, all that jazz.  I've used Blackboard before, but it was a relief to have simple tasks to do to reorient myself with the platform while I get excited about the coursework laid out ahead of me.

Does it sound cheesy to say that just reading through my syllabi got me inspired?  It's true, it did. "Stretch yourself as a writer--try new things, take risks, write more than you think you can, in ways you didn't know you could."  "Don't rush through something the night before--unless, of course, it's brilliant."  Little things like that make my palms tingle and my cheeks feel flushed...I feel new-crush-smitten. No place I'd rather be (n-n-n-no, no, no..no place I'd rather be!).

I wrote a few weeks ago about feeling scared to start, and I'm so pleased that I'm still feeling like this is the exact right choice for me.  A new friend commented on that post that maybe grad school is Baby #2 for now, and that felt so comforting for me to read.  I even laughed to myself when I started thinking about how maybe grad school is Baby #3--with Panache* being Baby #1 (too far?).  The culture that I'm surrounded by sometimes makes me wonder if it was wrong to start grad school instead of trying for another baby (seriously, everyone that has a kid Joonclark's age is pregnant/already has a second! HOW??!), but when I really get down to the heart of the matter, this is right.  The God I know and love is encouraging of personal growth, of risk taking, of being an amazing mom for a small family instead of being a so-so mom to a huge family**.

Well, anyways, didn't mean to get down that rabbit hole again--I only wanted to say that it feels like a breathtaking blessing to feel so affirmed about the place I'm in and the risks I'm taking. I've cried no less than (and maybe more than?) five times because I just can't believe how awesome my school workload is.  There's even a David Sedaris class being taught next semester! And I got in!

If posting is sparse around here (that's kind of a joke, it's always sparse around here) it's because I'm elbow-deep in terribly interesting articles and book chapters and workshopping. And next semester I'm going to take more credits!  Because I want to!

So. Braggy post over. Grad school rocks.
::Insert obligatory quote about a world where there are Octobers or bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils because it's fffffaaaaaallllll guys::

*For new friends, David and I used to own and run a little clothing boutique here in Rexburg called Panache.  We bought it right after we were married and sold it after 5 years in business. It was awesome and terrible.
**I'm saying here that I personally would be a so-so mom to a huge family--not that all moms with a lot of kids are so-so. Those moms are killing it and I'm in awe.  My specific set of talents is so different than theirs.

4 comments:

  1. Sounds SO RAD. I'm so happy for you. :)

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  2. You're amazing! Seriously. I think this is so awesome. I'm slightly envious because I have never been the best student and I am totally at a point where school just is not an option. (I've got 3 kids ages 4, 22 months and 7 months!) I've also just not been the best student in the past and haven't even gotten my undergrad, but I have to remember that we all have our own strengths, as you pointed out at the end. I love that, it's so true and it was something I needed to hear. I have to remind myself not to compare my weak points with someone else's strong points! Basically, this comment was for me, to help remind me that I'm doing what I love and what is important to me and you are doing what you love and what is important to you and we're both awesome, yeah?? ;)

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  3. My heart is so excited for you! As a mother just completing an online course using blackboard and now doing my clinical before baby #2 I totally feel you! Having this opportunity to experience self growth and gain this extra knowledge is remarkable! It's something I never thought as a mother I would get to experience and now that it is almost over I can't believe I did it!! Keep up the good work and cheers to having such a wonderful experience and soaking up every minute of it!!

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  4. Congratulations on your first two weeks of grad school. I am considering going back to school for a second masters and the thought of doing so with two young children is incredibly overwhelming and intimidating. Cute boots!

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I think you're smart, pretty, & entitled to your own opinion.

I'd love it if the feeling was mutual!