Thursday, July 3, 2014

minute by minute, that's how you win it

Tuesday can maybe go on the records as one of my toughest mental days ever.  I felt foggy and detached all day, sad and hopeless for no reason at all.  Sometimes I would think an hour had passed, and then realize it had only been a few minutes, and sometimes it was vice versa.  The only thing that stands out from that day is seeing how happy Joon was all day and feeling profoundly guilty that I wasn't appreciating every second of it.  Just an odd day all around.  I did get to grab a quick lunch with Shpitty and banter on a group text with some smarty pants funny ladies I know, so that felt really lucky.

Somewhere in the middle of the day, I had this idea that I was going to pull myself out of my haze and then write an inspirational blog post about how I lit a fancy candle, and played cars with my little boy, and tidied my kitchen, and then...none of that stuff worked.  I felt like I was going through the motions and nothing was penetrating the surface (Fat Amy: "Not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate!").  I'm writing this post to say that even though I can say that I'm learning how to manage depression, and I can write inspirational posts about 10 things that make me happy, some days also still knock me on my butt.  I'm sorry if you're reading this and having a day (or week, month, year) that's knocking you on yours.

Anyways, here are some of the pictures I took on Tuesday!  Now that I'm looking back at them, they do make me happy.  There is always good around me and I'm grateful for my little tribe of people, loving me even when I'm a gloomy sad sack.
 favorite candle
 favorite kid
 favorite jeans
favorite pup

2 comments:

  1. I'm obsessed with the picture of your favorite kid and favorite pup. OBSESSED.

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    Replies
    1. Those are my favorites, too! I keep clicking on my own blog just to scroll to them. Joon: "Heeeeey mom." Carm: "Deeeeerp!!?!"

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