Tuesday, April 22, 2014

MF-ingA

Ever since I graduated with my bachelor's degree I've talked about getting an MFA.  It was always this eventually/someday/maybe when Joony's older kind of dream, though, and I would mention it casually sometimes to friends and wistfully sometimes to David but it was tucked safely in the back of my mind.
Lately, though, and quite out of the blue, we've started talking about master's programs.  First, David mentioned wanting to get an MBA, and when I complained about how little I would see him, he pointed out that maybe I should just jump in and get my MFA at the same time.  Something clicked in my heart when he said that and it just felt so...warm and good and right and comfortable.

I have this image in my head of the person I am, this idealistic way I see myself, and I haven't been doing things lately that move me closer to actually being that person.  I like to think of myself as a yogi and a voracious reader and a serious writer and in reality, the main thing that my free time is producing is an advance in Mad Men episodes on Netflix.  I've been so doubtful of myself and my creative abilities that it was easier to dream about doing really cool things than to actually do them and risk failing.
Since Joony was born I'd talked about plans of becoming a doula* and a kickboxing instructor and a runner and none of it came to fruition because it wasn't where my heart was rooted.  Circling back around to the study and craft that made me so happy for four years of my undergrad feels like a big smack in the forehead, and having the training and ability to teach at a college level is just so perfect considering my profound dislike for any kid that isn't my own (or my sweet neicey-poos, of course. I'm not a monster here).  The best part is that with an MFA in Creative Writing my thesis is a work ready to send off to agents to work towards publication, which is perfect because I have this vampire novel I'm dying  to get published, har har har.

So I'm talking to online universities, and sitting down to write every day because a big part of the application process is a couple pages of writing, and wondering if there are scholarships for 20-something white moms going back to school online, and sprucing our office into an awesome creative space, and feeling hopeful and smart and brave and excited.  It's a good place to be.

OH - these pictures are from my graduation from BYUI and picture goddess Kate took the top one and I still love those pictures so much. She totally captured the pride and excitement we were feeling and ohmygosh I miss that BFF of mine every single day.

*I actually do still want to be a doula someday, I have to add a caveat for that one. That is also a passion, just not the right one for this season of life.

6 comments:

  1. That is so exciting! (And I would totally love to be a doula someday too.) Good luck!

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  2. You go girl! I admire anyone who wants to further their education! You are awesome.

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  3. Wow! That sounds great, I wish you so much success and joy from continuing in your education. You know a child's likelihood of academic success is greatly impacted by the level of education that their mother has. So go you!

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  4. Teaching and writing would be such a fun career!

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  5. If you're looking for anyone to read rough drafts send them my way! !

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  6. I felt like I could have written this post. Same boat, same feelings, same same same. Would love for you to share what you have decided on, what programs you have considered, etc. Exciting!!!

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I think you're smart, pretty, & entitled to your own opinion.

I'd love it if the feeling was mutual!