Thursday, January 9, 2014

drive baby

Today was David's day off. Around 3:00, Joony threw his toy tractor at me and started screaming and whining and something inside of me snapped.  I just felt so overwhelmed with his tantrums, with teething, with whining, with Hot Wheels being thrown, with being tired, I'd just had enough. Maybe you've had moments like that? I feel like every time someone blogs about how hard being a mom is they have to throw in, "But I love them so much! As much as I love him, which is so so much, it'skindofhardsometimes BUT I LOVE EVERY. LAST. SECOND!" And I hope that goes without saying. I hope you know I cherish my son every single day.

But also sometimes I'm just...so...done. I mean, did you read my last post? Mom-ming is chaos, yo.
Luckily, David was home and told me I should go run an errand or do something on my own, and I did.
I grabbed my wallet and my phone and my keys and walked out the door without assembling the usual sippy cup/snack pack/fruit squeezy/Hot Wheels fleet/diaper bag.  I had a pint of paint to pick up (say that 10 times fast) from a friend in Rexburg, so I took off and the drive was good.

A few things to note about this hour I spent by myself today:

1. I took David's little truck, and felt like I got a peek at a private part of his life, seeing the world from his driver's seat and listening to his radio presets (which are much better than mine). Maybe that's silly.
2. I went to this local dairy store that had advertised Dirty Dr. Peppers, which I've heard are freaking delicious. I thought it was a Dr. Pepper with lime and coconut and maybe half and half (googling later proved me rightt!)...but this place charged me $4 and gave me a Dr. Pepper float with ice cream. It was good, and I won't complain about ice cream, but just...not a dirty Dr. Pepper. Will be creating DDP's of my own in the future.
3. Burst into tears when a semi truck full of cattle drove by. Of course.
4. Got to tromp around through the snow a little bit to get to my friend's house, all bundled up, and breathing that fresh air felt dang good.
5. As I pulled back into my neighborhood, "Angel in the Centerfold" came on the radio (see previously mentioned superior radio presets). I yelled, "What? Are you serious?" around a mouthful of Dr. Pepper/ice cream and then sang along to every last word, whistling and nah-nahs included.
6. Snapped this picture right before I got home, and it was just perfect.
Being a mom is good, and Joony is a good boy, and also David is a really good husband, and time by myself is good, and coming back home to my family was good. So that's the end of this story.

2 comments:

  1. I absolutely hate when people are afraid to admit that being a mom is hard. they are always like "Sometimes it's a little rough but i love them so i barely notice because i just love love love love love them it's barely even a bother." I have finally accepted the fact that it does not make me a bad mother to admit when I get frustrated or upset. It doesn't make me love my kid any less just because, as a full time mom by day, i am looking forward to the silent 20 minute car ride to work later away from the toddler chaos. You're not alone i your struggles, sister. And don't forget, YOU GOT THIS! <3

    Madeline

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    Replies
    1. Thank thank thank you!! Every time I talk to my mom friends in real life, we all agree that some days are just hard, but it seems like people feel like if it's written online, you forever only half-love your kid. Not so! YOU GOT THIS TOO, SISTER!

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